Three weeks ago, I left the comfortable and loving familiarity of my family home in Mumbai in pursuit of experiencing student life in Edinburgh that is very different from the way I have known it so far. A decision like this can be a lot of emotional upheaval - be it leaving behind loved ones, logistical nightmares of packing and travelling, adjusting to a new climate, new people, unfamiliar roads and surroundings and most importantly learning to live life on your own.
The Journey so far.....
A delayed flight with terrible staff and horrible food, rushing to catch the connecting flight, complete emotional drain and less than 6 hours of sleep in 48 hours. I was welcomed to the beautiful city that embodies your typical description of a European town in a daze and unable to believe that I had actually done what I had been planning for and dreaming about for more than a year now. The city is very modern in terms of stores / shopping areas and infrastructure but the entire layout is breathtaking views with old Gothic architecture, sloping cobbled roads, innumerable cafes and pubs at every nook and corner. Yet, the lack of hustle bustle and hurried madness that personifies Mumbai was by itself unreal (I was told that more than 5 cars at a traffic light implies a traffic jam here!!!!). Though the people are mostly nice, friendly and helpful, the sight of so many strangers in a strange land can be overwhelming initially. The energy boost at that point in time was the clean fresh air and the pleasant weather, that was thankfully not too cold / rainy. As a local Scot would describe it, "You can experience all 4 seasons in one single day, so be prepared at all times" and I have actually experienced that on a number of occasions now.
I spent the first week at a beautiful homely Bed and Breakfast with a warm and loving elderly couple as caretakers. I was given a big comfortable double bed, a television , kettle with tea and coffee, a bathroom and was not at all cramped in spite of 3 jumbo sized suitcases, one backpack and one small strolley bag - so basically I had all that I could ask for at that point. Breakfast was wholesome with variety of cereal, fruit flavored yogurt, fruits, croissants, toast, eggs, baked beans, scones and so on. It worked out economical as well because the scrumptious breakfast allowed me to mostly eat only one meal out and reduce expenses (a trait which over time here has become inbuilt and instinctive).
My first week in the city was tiring but fun. I arrived here just in time to view the end of the Annual Edinburgh Festival. The grand finale was a lovely fireworks show from the main tourist attraction of the city - the Edinburgh Castle (a primary landmark that is atop a hill and visible from most parts of the city centre). The sparkling display of light and colours (4 tonnes of fireworks!) is done in co-ordination with music from a live orchestra and its one of those experiences in life I would never forget. Besides that, I spent my time randomly exploring and walking around the city and figuring out what areas I would need to access on a regular basis and familiarising myself with the surroundings.
The thing I noticed the most was the diversity in people here. Whether it is at the University or generally across the city, the place is full of people from varied nationalities, backgrounds and cultures, which makes the experience of interacting with them and learning about them even more interesting. I now know that within my class of 45 people itself, there are Russians, American, Chinese, Indian, Irish, Phillippines, Lithuanian and so on and so forth - to just name a few (considering that there are only 2 students that are local Scottish!). It makes me proud to say that for the most part, people are very interested in the Indian Culture and life-style too, and whilst there are a few who have the stereotypical image of a backward India, there are those who love the cultural and traditional diversity and of course the culinary specialities that India stands for. :)
After a week of aimless exploration of the city, (and visiting innumerable grocery stores for price comparisons), I finally moved into my own accommodation that is provided by the University. I have a room with my own bathroom that are both tiny by any standards of the places I have called home previously. I share the kitchen with 11 others. The best part of my room by far is the view that I get from being 7 floors high whilst all other buildings around me are only 3-4. I can see hills on the left, fields in the middle, rooftops of beautiful houses and the sea beyond it all. :)
I will always remember the first day in this room as one of the most difficult ones I ever faced in life. The fact that I was away from home and completely alone hit me even more than it had when I got on the airplane. The whole day slipped by in heaving bags, shifting and rearranging furniture, unpacking, buying utilities and grocery across multiple trips to the market that took ages (as I could not decide what was the most cost-effective item to buy and was unable to carry everything in one go). The feeling of helplessness and loneliness at the end of the day (while trying to deal with a terrible cold as well) was exhausting and unreal to the extent that I would have given anything to not go through it ever again. But then again, I can now look back and smile at it as part of the teething process, where I learnt to take every baby step one at a time. I know that that feeling was very real and is probably something that cannot be described or understood in its entirety till you experience it for yourself. Yet, knowing that I moved past it is in itself an achievement and it is learning experiences like this that by itself tells me why I chose this path in life and what I want to achieve out of it.
In the very apt description given by a friend, leaving everything you know behind and starting life afresh in a new country is just like an airplane journey. The take off is when the maximum resources and energy is utilized and of course the maximum turbulence is faced. Yet, once you move past that, in most cases, the cruising plane is smooth enough for you to virtually not even realise the speed at which you are travelling. :)
The next few days were spent discovering the 'joys' of cooking for myself, organising the million things I carried from home, decorating and re-decorating as much as possible in the constrained budget - an attempt to make this place 'home'. Leaving aside the logistics, the biggest challenge was yet to come - making friends with random strangers. There are all kinds - those who stick to their own community / group, those who are overtly friendly and helpful, those who speak really well and yet somehow you want to maintain slight distance from them and then of course those who are like-minded in most ways and whom you click with almost instantly. The search for the last category of people can often be unyielding and adds to the overwhelming feeling already existing, but its something that again, only time can tell.
I discovered some of these people in my residential area, my class, across various events organised for Freshers to get to know each other. Among the memorable events was a traditional Scottish Dance Meet (Ceilidh - pronounced 'Kaylee'). It involves dancing mostly in pairs, or sometimes groups of 4/6/8 in a large circle to very enjoyable and catchy traditional Scottish music played by a live band. In a lot of ways, its like the Garba played in India. We had a really good time since most of the us in our group didn't know what we were supposed to do and the whole experience of learning together and then making mistakes, literally stepping on each others toes was full of laughs and excitement :)
Through all the initial ups and downs, I finally began my course last week. 3 days of full day induction and classes after more than 3 months of having no fixed routine was very tiring (not to mention a 50 page reading assignment on the first day itself!) so my classmates and I made up for it by a fun night out on Friday. We went to an awesome place here called the Vodka Bar ('Bar Kohl') that served 100s of variety of Vodka based drinks. I have never seen such a fascinating drinks menu that included coconut, apple, strawberry and believe it or not, bubble gum flavoured vodka in combination with various other fluids! They even had hot chocolate with vodka in it! I have been told that this should be considered as my official welcome to Scottish drinking culture. The bar was followed by lots and lots of fun dancing at a popular club (Espionage) which has 6 levels - each has its own dance floor and each plays different music so you can choose what you want to enjoy the most. We of course picked the level that not only played cheezy popular songs but alternated them with brilliant classics where I croaked my lungs out singing and dancing along with all time favourites like Summer of '69, Sweet Child of Mine etc.. (in celebration of all the Xavierites reading this...Cheers!). The best part is that places here do not charge entry fees, so all this fun and I spent only 3 pounds on one drink! :)
Was it worth it?
Someone from home asked me the other day whether this big decision to uproot my life and move here, not to mention spending so much money, was worth it.
Living by myself and having to do every tiny little thing on my own every single day - be it laundry, dishes, making my bed, making sure there is enough milk and bread, managing finances and putting off buying that thing I really really want, studying and reading articles, cleaning up after myself so that the others sharing the kitchen are not inconvenienced (even though they often don't show me the same courtesy) - is by no means easy. I have to also constantly be conscious of the implications of my actions and words and how these could be interpreted across the varied cultures of the people I now interact with on a daily basis.
It is definitely a challenging experience and so it inherently teaches you a lot. I have discovered a new appreciation for how my mother ensured there was home-cooked wholesome food to eat at the end of the day in spite of having a long tiring day at work, and why she always told me it was important to make my bed first thing in the morning, and to keep the bed-cover separate from the sheet and that cleanliness of the place you live in is essential. I now know why my father always made sure there was no basic provision ever missing in the house and why he would tell me to develop a reading habit while I could. I now know the importance of the warm hugs and kisses that only loved ones can provide and how any situation could feel so much better just seeing them smile and knowing that they are there.
Every day has unexpected surprises that come my way. It is a experience that allows you to feel every ounce of emotion (sometimes even simultaneously) that you have ever known. But through it all, I have learnt what is important to me in life and what it takes to be self-reliant and independent. I know I have a long way to go and have a lot more hard work to put in to survive and fulfill this ambition successfully, but the anxiety for the future is often overcome by the exhilarating feeling in knowing that I am willing and capable of giving it everything I have.
In the words of a poem I once read (by Veronica Shoffstall):
"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul ....... and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security....... And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises........................ and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead - with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child ............................ and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
Ater a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
